Practical EQ

The Flip: how to start turning your life around right now

You will have seen this picture before. If you look at it one way it's a caricatured old lady - look, there's her chin at the bottom centre of the picture. If you look at it another way, it's a 1/4 profile of a young girl - the tip of the old lady's nose becomes the tip of her chin, and so on.

What's this got to do with turning your life around? Notice how you see one picture or the other, depending on where you put your attention. Focusing on certain features will trigger your brain's pattern-match for an old lady facing left, focusing on others triggers the pattern-match for a young girl looking away. Shift your focus and the picture flips from one image to the other, literally in the blink of an eye.

Notice how you can't see both at the same time. With a bit of practice you can defocus your eyes and just see a pattern of lines on the page, but that's about as close as we can get.

Similarly, we see patterns in our lives. Our brains try to form coherent narratives that make sense of our actions and the things that happen to us. We like to have a consistent sense of ourselves, otherwise things will seem incoherent and confusing.

These stories are self-fulfilling prophesies. If your 'story' as you see it is that of an unlucky person, who everything goes wrong for, every setback will reinforce the overall narrative. If, on the other hand, you see yourself as someone with goals, who has overcome many challenges, you would view the exact same event to deal with, and even something that makes you stronger. You will focus on different things and see your life (including what you expect to happen in the future, which influences the choices you make and the actions you take) as a completely different picture.

So how can you use these principles of pattern recognition and the desire for a consistent sense of self to start making your life better? It's easy.

Do something which is consistent with how you want to see yourself. If you want to become more of a caring person, do something which makes a difference to someone else. If you want to get fitter or healthier, do just a little bit of exercise or eat an apple instead of a chocolate bar.

The key is to start small. If the action is something you want to put off, it's too big. Make the action small enough that it's a no-brainer to do it now. It's not about how big the action is, it's about the kind of action and the narrative of yourself that it's consistent with.

Each thing you do that contributes to your story of who you want to be makes it more likely that you will take more positive actions in the future, because of the consistency principle. Yes, at first you may still be doing ten things from your old ways to each 'desired life' action - but if you focus on the positive actions, you will start doing more and more of them.

For all I know this method has already been given a name by someone else, but I think of it as 'The Flip'.

Start small - and keep going.

(Optical illusion from Wolfram Mathworld)

How do I choose an NLP Practitioner course?

Some things to look out for and questions to ask

Quite often people ask me what they should be looking for when choosing an NLP Practitioner training course, so I've got round to writing my answers down at last. I want to emphasise that this is my personal view, and I'm not speaking for anyone else and certainly not any official body that I'm a member of or accredited by.

The article is written for someone in the UK looking for NLP training; conditions in the US and the rest of the world may be different, but I believe most of the article will still be applicable.

When selecting an NLP training course, you may want to consider the following questions:

1. What is the emphasis of the course?
Some NLP Practitioner courses are therapy-oriented, leading (eventually, after more training and a lot of supervision and client hours) to UKCP accreditation, others are business-oriented. Most NLP practitioner courses are 'generalist' – you learn NLP skills which you can then apply to 'turbo-charge' what you already know.

2. How big is the course?
Some courses have over 100 students in the class, others are small-group courses with a group size as small as 12. You may already have a feeling for what size of group you would prefer; if not, it's worth taking a moment to check within yourself.

3. 'Intensive' or 'Extensive'?
NLP courses can be either 'intensive' (7 or 10 day courses, sometimes but not always supported by many hours worth of audio home study) or 'extensive' (20 days with 120 'contact hours' of training).

Audio home study products typically use a lot of hypnotic language to get the information across at the unconscious level as effectively as possible. The upside of this is that you can absorb a lot of information in a short time, and you have the audio to refer back to.

A possible downside is that you can also find yourself unconsciously absorbing a lot of the beliefs and even mannerisms of the trainer (this is one reason why you may hear graduates of some UK NLP courses coming out with American expressions or sounding a bit 'transatlantic').

You may be fine with this if your belief system is already in line with the trainer's; otherwise it may cause a bit of 'cognitive dissonance' or confusion until your conscious and unconscious minds have sorted out between them what you actually want to believe.

4. How is the course structured?
Some 'intensive' courses run for ten days straight, others for one weekend a month over ten months. Generally when people decide to do an NLP Practitioner training, they want to get the qualification sooner rather than later. Some trainers will say that two days a month is really too short a time to get into the "NLP mindset", although spacing the training out over monthly intervals does give you the opportunity to try out and integrate what you have learned from each module in the real world.

5. How much access do you get to the trainer?
As you might expect, the rule of thumb is that the smaller the course group, the more opportunity you will have to ask questions of the trainer. Larger courses tend to use 'assistants' (previously qualified NLP practitioners or master practitioners) as "coaches" to help the students and provide one-to-one answers – this can work extremely well if you get a good assistant. Some larger courses even use assistants as a 'barrier' between the trainer and the students, presumably to stop the trainer being 'bothered' by pesky questions.

6. How much are NLP Practitioner courses?
There is quite a wide range of pricing, from subsidised courses under £1,000  to £3,000 or more. You will often see websites and advertisements for NLP training reframing the price as an "investment", and it is! Any decent NLP Practitioner training will repay itself many times over, provided you make the most of your learning experience and actually use what you have learned.

7. How much does the personality of the trainer matter?
It's vital! NLP Practitioner trainings tend to work at a deeper level than conventional skills training courses. Trust between trainer and student is essential; if you don't feel at ease with the trainer, you won't be able to learn nearly as much.

If at all possible, meet the trainer or talk to them on the phone before you sign up for the course. After all, you will be spending a lot of days in their company! At a minimum, they should be able to put you at your ease; if they can't, what does that say about their rapport skills?

8. Does accreditation matter?
There is no overall 'official' body setting standards for NLP courses. Most training institutes will be affiliated to the body that trained their trainers (e.g. the INLPTA, Society of NLP, and the American Board of NLP). The closest thing to an independent accrediting body in the UK is ANLP International, although it has a long way to go before it speaks for the whole of NLP.

To download a printable PDF version of this article, and to see how our Coaching Leaders NLP Practitioner course measures up against these criteria, visit Choosing An NLP Practitioner Course on our web site.

Epictetus on learning - thought for the day

"It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows." - Epictetus

The most accessible account of the stoic philosophy of Epictetus is probably in Tom Wolfe's superb novel A Man In Full - an immensely vivid and readable account of all classes in the American South in the nineties.

What is Appreciative Inquiry?

I've looked around the web for a short and easy-to-understand description of Appreciative Inquiry for a while, without much success. Which is why I think this article is needed....

What is Appreciative Inquiry?

Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is a way of looking at organisational change which focuses on doing more of what is already working, rather than focusing on fixing problems. It mobilises strategic change by focusing on the core strengths of an organisation, then using those strengths to reshape the future.

AI is both a high-participation learning process to identify and disseminate best practices, and a way of managing and working that fosters positive communication and can result in the formation of deep and meaningful relationships.

AI was developed by David Cooperrider and his associates at Case Western Reserve University in the mid-eighties. His wife Nancy, an artist, told him about the "appreciative eye" – an idea that assumes that in every piece of art there is beauty. AI applies this principle to business.

How It Works

Appreciative Inquiry begins with analysing the “positive core” of an organisation (or a person) and then links this knowledge to the heart of the strategic change agenda.

The very act of asking a question influences the worldview of the person who is asked. Because human systems move toward what they persistently ask questions about, Appreciative Inquiry involves the deliberate discovery of everything that gives a system “life” when it is most effective in performance and human terms.

When we link the positive core directly to a strategic agenda, changes never thought possible are rapidly mobilised while simultaneously building enthusiasm, corporate confidence, and human energy.

Problem Solving

• What to fix
• Thinks in terms of: problem, symptoms, causes, solutions, action plan, intervention
• Breaks things into pieces & specialties, guaranteeing fragmented responses
• Slow!  Takes a lot of positive emotion to make real change.
• Assumes organisations are constellations of problems to be overcome

Appreciative Inquiry

• What to grow

• Thinks in terms of: the true, good, better, possible

• “Problem focus” implies that there is an ideal. AI starts by focusing on that ideal and its roots in what is already good.

• Expands vision of preferred future. Creates new energy fast.

• Assumes organisations are sources of infinite capacity and imagination.

The AI Change Process

Typical AI Project Start-Up

• Choose the topic: combine themes from generic interviews with research questions
• Agree on desired outcomes and critical success factors
• Agree on how to get there
• Develop draft interview protocol
• Practice interviews; develop interview guidelines
• Plan for collecting & “analysing” the data
• Plan for how the process will drive change.

Six Generic Questions To Start

• What have been your best experiences at work? A time when…

• What do you value about… yourself, work, organisation.    
     
• What do you think is the core life-giving factor or value of your organisation –which it wouldn't be the same without?

• If you had three wishes for your organisation, what would they be?

• What achievements are you (and/or your team) proud of?

• Apart from the money, what makes it worth coming into work?

Why It Works

• It doesn’t focus on changing people, which leads to relief that the message isn’t about what they’ve done wrong or have to stop doing.

• Instead, people get into a positive, energised state because you're focusing on what's good about their work.

• It invites people to engage in building the kinds of organisations and communities that they want to live in.   

• It helps everyone see the need for change, explore new possibilities, and contribute to solutions.

• It's easier to see your vision of the future vividly when it has roots in your past experiences, rather than trying to start with a blank canvas

• It means you won't be throwing out the good stuff that's already there when you start to build your new organisation. 

• Through alignment of formal and informal structures with purpose and principles, it translates shared vision into reality and belief into practice.-  

Underlying Principles

• In every human system, something works.

• What we focus on, and the language we use, becomes our reality.

• Reality is created in the moment and there are multiple realities. It is important to value differences.  
• The act of asking questions influences the group in some way.

• People have more confidence & comfort to move to an unknown future when they carry forward parts of the past.

• What we carry forward should be what is best about the past.  

"Provocative Propositions"

As part of the "Dream" stage, we take the best of what currently happens and determine the circumstances that made that possible. We then write one or more "provocative propositions" which describe the idealised future in which the best happens all the time, and serve as a reminder to focus on it.

Examples:

We anticipate the customer's needs and we are continually learning about what they want.

My coaching practice is full and growing through word-of mouth recommendation.

Checklist for determining a provocative proposition:

•    Is it provocative? Does it stretch, challenge or innovate?
•    Is it developed from real-life examples?
•    Do people feel passionate enough about it to defend it?
•    Is it stated in bold, positive terms and in the present tense?

Provocative propositions resemble answers to the 'miracle question' in Solution-Focused Therapy – except that they are explicitly grounded in past successes, rather than being dreamed up from scratch.

Some NLP and Emotional Intelligence Perspectives

• Because memory is state-dependent, people may need some time to get into a positive frame of mind to recall their best experiences.

• Bear "ecology" (knock-on effects and unintended consequences on the wider system) in mind when choosing the topic – go for optimising the system rather than maximising a single variable.

• When people focus on what's working, they feel more positive. Positive emotions increase energy, creativity and resilience. 

Resources

You can download this article in PDF form from practicaleq.com/appreciative-inquiry.html

This article borrows heavily from:

The Thin Book of Appreciative Inquiry by Sue Annis Hammond

Appreciative Inquiry: A Revolution In Change – PowerPoint presentation by Debbie Morris downloadable at http://tinyurl.com/ymavmq

The central resource for AI is the Appreciative Inquiry Commons at http://appreciativeinquiry.case.edu/.  A Positive Revolution In Change: Appreciative Inquiry is a great 30-page introduction: http://appreciativeinquiry.case.edu/uploads/whatisai.pdf