Leadership

September 25, 2007

Why You Should Care For 'Negative' People In Your Organization - and how you can turn them round

Recently I was acting as a table facilitator at a large Appreciative Inquiry (Ai) event for a housing association. The table I was assigned to was right at the front, near the stage, where an iPod and travel speakers were doing their best to add a bit of uplifting background music - although you could hardly hear them from more than about 10 feet away, so vast was the room.

As people began to drift into the room for the start of the event, the first participant allocated to 'my' table came and sat down.  When I greeted her and sat next to her, she told me how much she hated background music and how she wished they would switch it off. Interestingly, the seat she had chosen at the previously empty table was the one closest to the sound system - in fact, right next to it.

As it turned out, this lady was starting as she meant to go on. As the day got under way, she lost little time in telling me and the rest of her team around the table how she had seen any number of initiatives like this before, and how she'd lost count of the number of times that management had promised all manner of wonderful things and never carried through on their promises.

The team around the table were obviously used to this, joshing her about how negative she was being: "Oh, you're really looking forwards to this next bit, aren't you Sue? We call her 'our little ray of sunshine' in the office" they explained to me. For her part, 'Sue' (as we'll call her to preserve her anonymity) took this in good part and appeared to be well-liked by her colleagues.

A younger woman sat next to her initially acted as her companion in half-serious complaining and negativity, projecting (if anything) even more of a cynical edge. But an interesting thing happened as the Ai event moved from the 'Dream' stage (where participants imagine what could be if the organisation were to reach its ideal state) to the 'Design' stage (where they start to firm up more concrete proposals for how things should be within the organisation).

The younger 'ray of sunshine' came up with several good ideas for how her organisation could do things differently, arguing for them forcefully and bringing the table round to support her proposals. When the time came for each table to present their ideas, she jumped up to act as the spokesperson, firing off her 'provocative propositions' as if throwing down a gauntlet to the leaders of the organisation. By the end of the Ai process she was interested, engaged and passionately committed to holding the management to account.

So what can we learn from this? Let's consider the people in an organisation who seem the most 'negative', the ones most likely to shoot down any new ideas before they get off the ground, and the ones who seem to actively resist change. Were they always that way? It seems unlikely - they wouldn't have got through their job interview.

What if they have become that way because they care more about what they are doing than the average person? What if the reason they expect any new initiatives to fail and any management promises to be reneged on is because that, by and large, has been their experience?

The way to start bringing round these people is simple - keep your promises. It will take a while, but eventually the majority will start to engage. If you put yourself in their shoes, and reflect on how from their point of view expecting the worst is a rational response to their experiences at work, you can probably get an idea of how long it might take.

When you consider that once taken on board, beliefs tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies because we unconsciously amplify evidence that supports our beliefs and downplay or ignore evidence that challenges them, it's no surprise that changing organisational culture is like turning a tanker round. Don't get discouraged because you don't get a positive response straight away.

Research by the Gallup Organisation suggests that (as at 2003) about 19% of people in the UK workforce were 'engaged' (caring and committed), 60% are showing up to work and going along with things, and a whopping 20% are actively undermining (research quoted at http://lifework.arizona.edu/ea/supv/great_brit.php).

How big would the benefits be if even a proportion of these 'negative' people could be persuaded to put their energy into furthering common goals, rather than resisting or complaining about them?

Of course for some people it may be too late. The label of 'negative person' or 'bitcher, moaner and whiner' can also become self-fulfilling, whether it's bestowed affectionately by colleagues or judgementally by a boss. If the person chooses to accept the label as part of their identity, it can become a straightjacket, leading them - like the woman who chose the closest seat to the background music she hated - to unconsciously put themselves into situations that will confirm their negativity.

Once someone is in such a mental blind alley, their only way out is to recognise that cynicism isn't working for them. This is only going to happen if the expectations of their more positive colleagues are borne out over a sustained period of time - as can only happen if their management keep on keeping the promises they make.

Next time: why the cynic may be the most valuable team member when you're trying to bring about change.

July 23, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (8) - Notice how you make decisions

Compare your ‘strategies’ for reaching a good decision with how you arrived at a bad one. There will probably be significant differences. Much of your processing may be unconscious so you will get better results working with a skilled NLP practitioner.

Check what kind of mental images you are using in your decision-making process. NLP therapist Andrew T Austin suggests (in this video, about 10 minutes in) still pictures lead to bad decisions, moving pictures to better ones (because it’s easier to see the consequences of the decision).

Remedy: If your mental pictures are largely still, try making them into movies.

July 22, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (7) - Turn off mental chatter

Meditate or use peripheral vision to still your mind before making important decisions. When you clear some space, what is really important to you has a chance to emerge. For guidance on how to use peripheral vision, visit www.practicaleq.com/peripheral.html.

July 21, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (6) - Learn from mistakes

If one of your decisions turns out bad, review how you went through deciding. Notice any obvious flaws. If things don’t turn out the way you want, ask yourself “What do I need to learn from this?”

July 20, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (5) - ‘Reality Tunnels’ and Groupthink

We filter incoming sensory information in line with our beliefs – evidence that supports an existing belief will be amplified, while information that contradicts it will be downplayed or ignored – leaving us in our own ‘reality tunnel’ which may be quite different to someone else’s. Consequently we may miss useful information if it doesn’t support our belief system.

This tendency gets worse with ‘groupthink’. We are influenced by other people, and if we only have contact with people who believe the same as us, our filters get even stronger (‘social proof’ in Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion).

Remedies: talk to people with different beliefs. Read a newspaper with a differing political point of view to your own occasionally. Actively look for evidence which counters your own beliefs. Ask yourself, “How would I know if this wasn’t true?”

July 17, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (4) - Check your feelings

Giftoffear All decisions are ultimately emotional (see Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman and Descartes’ Error by Antonio Damasio). Your unconscious mind, which notices more than you are consciously aware of, communicates with you via feelings (see The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker).  If you don’t feel 100% positive about an important decision, this may be a sign that you have missed something important.

As well as checking your feelings, keep your feelings in check! If you are in the grip of a really strong emotion (positive or negative) it pretty much shuts down the thinking part of your brain. “Strong emotions make us stupid” – neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux in The Emotional Brain. To detach (or ‘dissociate’ in the NLP jargon) from the emotion, imagine floating up above it.

July 16, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (3) - Values: what’s important to you

Values are the abstract concepts which motivate us, and are also the criteria for deciding if our actions are right or wrong. Focusing on your values around a decision before you take it will help you to focus more on consequences, and give you the persistence to persevere if things get tough.

The following exercise will work better if you get someone else to ask you the questions - that way you can give your full attention to your answers.

Relevant questions: What’s important to you about <decision>?
What else is important to you about <decision>?

Keep asking until you run out of answers - then ask "What else is important to you about <decision>?" again, as this may unearth some more values that you weren't consciously aware of.

If any of the answers are in the form of things or activities, rather than abstract concepts, ask "What's important about <answer>?" until you get to an abstract value.

Also check for values clashes, which can lead to dilemmas, being ‘stuck’, or inconsistent actions. In extreme cases, a  ‘parts integration’ session with a good NLP practitioner may be helpful to resolve the clash.

Making better decisions with NLP (2) - Ecology – checking for knock-on effects

Focusing on the consequences and broadening the scope of your attention in space (how will this decision affect other people and the wider systems of which I am a part?) and time (what may be the longer-term consequences?) helps to minimise unintended consequences.

NB "ecology" as used in NLP refers to looking at the relationship between you (and by extension what you do, the decisions you make and the goals you set) and the wider systems of which you are a part. These would include other areas of your life, your health, your family, people you care about, your job or business, community, and the environment as a whole.

So someone might decide to really focus on making their business a success. A year later, the business is a success but their health is wrecked from all the late nights they've pulled, their marriage is in a mess, they have no friends left from trying to sell them stuff they don't want, and their weight has ballooned from no exercise and living on junk food.

If that person had taken into account the knock-on effects of spending so much time on the business to the detriment of everything else, they could probably have found ways of having the business success that didn't damage every other part of their life.

July 11, 2007

Making better decisions with NLP (1) - Situation or Consequence-based

Actually this is only NLP if you follow the definition that "anything that works is NLP", but it's certainly NLP-compatible.

Decisions_2

People usually base decisions on either the situation they face, or the consequences of their decision. Situation-based decisions are reactive (“at effect”) and lead to excessive concern with being ‘right’. Consequence-based decisions are “at cause” and allow for more creativity and more focus on good questions – not every idea has to be ‘right’ as it can take you towards a better idea.

How to tell a situation-based decision: if you ask a person why they took a decision, they answer with a description of the situation – usually either a justification (or excuse) or showing a need to be “right”.

How to tell a consequence-based decision: they answer by talking about desired consequences with no need to defend their decision.

(model adapted from Consequence vs. Situation by Harris Kern and Ken Moskovitz – an article on the excellent Harris Kern web site www.harriskern.com)

June 13, 2007

Upscale Your Influence - in a way that works for you

11cgfznatl There are many tips and tricks for influencing others – a good source is Robert Cialdini’s classic book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Rather than try to learn all of them at once you may prefer to use a simpler way to discover what works uniquely for you, because there’s a lot to remember and you may not be comfortable using some of the sneakier tricks.

(The sneakier tricks are still worth knowing about though, because you will be able to recognise when someone is trying to use them on you!)

Here’s the method:

1. Make sure you are absolutely believe in your message
If you are not 100% congruent about what you are saying, change it until you are!. Make your vision as clear and vivid as you can.

2. How successful are you currently at influencing?
Rate your success level on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is the least successful you have ever been and 10 is how you will be when you are at the level of successful influencing that you want to reach. This is not an objective scale – your “2” might be someone else’s “8” or vice versa.

3. Acknowledge what’s already working
Notice how you got to the number (“n”) you’ve reached, and how you stop yourself slipping back to n minus one. This is what’s working already in your approach. What would happen if you did more of it?

4. What would be different at n+1?
How would you notice if you were just one step closer to being a great influencer? What conditions would be in place? What would you be doing differently? Don’t worry at this point about how you will get there.

5. What will you do to get there?
This is about doing more of what works, or just trying out some of the many influence tips out there. You could try them out in ‘safe’ situations like shops, and even push your comfort zone a little. When something works, do more of it: when something doesn’t turn out how you wanted or expected, ask yourself “What do I need to learn from this?”

Note: Imagine how you could also use this method to improve your performance in any area...

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